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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248350">our book of stories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenynnefydd/pseuds/em%20arzhur'>em arzhur (gwenynnefydd)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Confessions, Discussions of sex, F/F, Forbidden Love, Humor, M/M, Slightly Cracky Premise</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,846</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248350</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenynnefydd/pseuds/em%20arzhur</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle is happy with his lot in life - he has two good friends in Lonnie and Scorpia, and his best friend Rogelio always has his back. But a chance encounter introduces a burning question that constantly nags at the back of his mind... </p><p>What in all of Etheria is a <i>boyfriend?</i></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kyle/Rogelio (She-Ra), implied Lonnie/Scorpia (She-Ra)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>285</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>our book of stories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>so this is inspired by that One Repkyle Line in s5, and the crack premise of "lol, what if kyle didn't know what a boyfriend was". </p><p>and then i added angst. </p><p>so much angst.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>HORDE CONCORDAT, NINTH EDITION (y.o.p. 2246) </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>SUBSECTION C: INTRA-HORDE RELATIONS</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>xvi</em>
  </b>
  <em>
    <span>. A horde soldier is expressively banned from long term commitments of a romantic or queer-platonic nature. Expressing desires for such relationships is also frowned upon, and both are punishable by extended periods of isolation and hard labour. Frequent rule infractions will attract much greater punishment, which is not limited to expulsion and execution. Specific actions and their related punishments are listed in table F.ii below… </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Great work today, soldiers!" Scorpia brightly told them as they left the training room for the day. "That was a good session!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scorpia had been overseeing the training session this morning, and Kyle had spent it with Lonnie and Rogelio, ducking and diving and quite frankly wishing he were anywhere else but here. Kyle definitely did not consider it a 'good' session. The holograms were vicious today, courtesy of a new engineer Hordak had acquired, and Kyle had found himself downed within about thirty seconds, despite Rogelio's best efforts at protecting him. Lonnie had yelled at him, Scorpia had patted him awkwardly on the back, and both had forced him to re-run the simulation until he was able to at least find somewhere to hide, instead of immediately dying. He was sore and tired, and it felt like Rogelio treating his injuries so gently afterwards was the only thing stopping him from writing off the entire ordeal as torture. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Lonnie, your hand-to-hand combat was great today - I think you beat your holo-beating record!" Scorpia continued enthusiastically, her red tail twitching behind her. Lonnie flushed a dull, mottled red at the compliment, and looked away - Kyle was almost certain she was hiding a smile. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>" Lizardman, you were solid. A solid team player," Scorpia continued. "And you Kyle - you've improved your survival time by a whole thirty seconds from last time, so well done-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Last time he got shot ten seconds after he stepped through the door." Lonnie snorted. Kyle shot her a hurt look. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That was one time!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The other times you got hit within the first few minutes." Lonnie flicked her dreadlocks over her shoulder, and fixed him with a look. "Don't argue with me - you should spend this time thinking of how to ensure I don't have to bury you when we're out in the field." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle sighed, and looked away. It was true he wasn't great at simulations, but did Lonnie have to be so mean about it? He felt a weight settle around his shoulders - Rogelio had wrapped one arm around his shoulder, and was looking at him with an almost commiserating look. Feeling a curl of affection in his gut, Kyle gave him a small smile, which Rogelio responded to with a tight squeeze of his shoulders, before letting his arm fall away. Kyle immediately missed its weight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They rounded the corner, and took the turn that would take them to the canteen. Kyle's belly was rumbling up a storm, and he could only hope the had the good ration bars in today. They were not the only people heading this way - the stream of Horde members steadily grew the closer they got to the canteen, all hungry for food after a hard morning's work. As they turned down the right corridor, Kyle saw two cadets leaning against a fat old pipe that climbed up the wall. They were talking quietly, but as Kyle's group passed by, he caught a snippet of their conversation. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I can't believe Búi is in isolation this week." one was saying, quite crossly. "He's an idiot. I don't even know </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>he did to get in there." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s in big trouble - did you hear?" The other cadet said conspiratorially. "Shadow Weaver overheard him calling Nyth his ‘boyfriend’, and you know how strict she is about romantic overtures...”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"They should've just stuck to trysting." the other snorted. "Leave the emotions out of it- then maybe Shadow Weaver wouldn't have known-" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Shadow Weaver knows </span>
  <em>
    <span>everything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>you don't seriously </span>
  <em>
    <span>think-" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keep it moving, soldier!" Scorpia's voice was loud, easily interrupting the conversation of the two cadets. "You'll miss lunch, gossiping about in corners like that - I hear they've got the red ration bar in today!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whether it was out of a true desire for red ration bars or just deference to Scorpia, the two soldiers hurried down the corridor and out of sight. Kyle watched them go, frowning, before opening his mouth and asking:</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's a b-?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not now, Kyle." Lonnie interrupted him with a glare. "I told you - you need to be thinking of why you lost the simulation today." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle's mouth shut with a soft click. He looked towards Rogelio, but the lizard man just shrugged unhelpfully. Was no-one going to talk about that conversation, or was it just Kyle that didn't understand it? He understood some parts of it - a tryst, he knew, referred to sex. A number of his dormmates would slink in and out at all hours of the morning for 'trysts', but rarely anyone spoke of them above a whisper. That being said, his whole squad had received two hours of 'tryst education' from Scorpia several years back, a deeply painful and embarrassing affair which involved a slideshow, charades and several ration bars molded like varying genitalia for 'practice with these contraception thingies', as Scorpia put it. That part Kyle understood perfectly well, but it was the other parts of the short conversation that confused him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a boyfriend? What was </span>
  <em>
    <span>romance</span>
  </em>
  <span>? And why was Shadow Weaver so mad about it? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When researching something, Kyle knew there was only one place to go - the library. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle liked the library. It was quiet, and only the most studious of Horde cadets came here, and Kyle quite liked the towering bookshelves and cacophony of scrolls and papers that somehow managed to keep itself in order. The bookkeeper Tylluan, a wizened old owl-person, was somewhat fond of him, and ruled over xer nest of books with an iron fist,  meaning Kyle was safe from those who often tried to corner him somewhere where neither Lonnie nor Rogelio could protect him. Kyle was a frequent visitor here, and therefore Tylluan only greeted him with a wave of a great mottled grey wing instead of a full interrogation of why he was here. Which was good, because as much as he liked Tylluan, Kyle did not think explaining he was researching a potentially forbidden topic would go over very well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He slipped into an aise that was thankfully empty, and began browsing the books. He knew ‘boyfriends’ was not a native Horde term so maybe… it was from outside? From the realm of Princesses? Kyle quashed the nagging fear in the back of his head for even thinking about learning about Princess terms - he wanted to know what it meant, and there was no harm in learning a new word, was there? It may even help him in training!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The tombs were dusty and heavy, filled with tactical knowledge that Kyle couldn’t hope to understand, and so he ignored most of them, and pulled out only the ones that he could hope to read. At the end of the aisle, he hit jackpot - on the table lay a book called </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Outer Lands: Culture and Capitulation, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and from the blurb on the back, the book seemed to be about understanding Princess language and customs in order to topple kingdoms by infiltration. That sounded like it could explain the concept of ‘boyfriends’. He tucked the book under one arm, and headed to his usual table near the front desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What was it that the older Cadet had said?</span>
  </em>
  <span> Kyle thought as he riffled through the book. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was discussing something about trysts and ‘romance’ when the term came up…</span>
  </em>
  <span> He flipped to the back of the book to the index. There was no entry for tryst, but there was several entries for ‘romance’. He picked one page number, and flipped through the pages, feeling mounting excitement. He was going to find out this new word, and then he could use it to improve in training, and know more about princesses, and maybe Rogelio will look at him with something other than despair when he failed training </span>
  <em>
    <span>again-</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He flipped to the right page, heart in the back of his throat, and came face to face with an image of a Princess. With no clothes. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle immediately slammed the book shut harder than was strictly necessary, face flushing a particularly mottled shade of crimson. He looked furtively around, but no-one seemed to have noticed his viewing of explicit material in a public place. Only Tylluan was looking at him, and Kyle gave xer an awkward wave, smile brittle. Once Tylluan turned away again, Kyle exhaled, and stared down at the book again. The cadet had linked ‘romance’ with ‘trysts’, but Kyle hadn’t exactly… </span>
  <em>
    <span>expected </span>
  </em>
  <span>to come across explicit material when looking the term up. He peeked at the page again, opening the book just a fraction, then fished around in his bag for his sheaf of loose papers, notes from his classes. He opened the book fully, and immediately covered the image with a sheet scribbled with tactical drawings, so that only the Princess’ feet could be seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There. Now he didn’t have to worry about people getting the wrong impression.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The text of the book was geared toward cadets sent on ‘honeypot’ missions - Scorpia had explained this too, but Kyle had been too embarrassed at the whole ‘tryst education’ situation to really absorb what was being said. Leaning forward, he skimmed the text, until he fell upon a particular section:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>While the Horde concordat expressively bans romantic entanglements (Subsection C.xvi, lines 1876-2098), exceptions are made for cadets on honeypot missions. Cadets may engage in relationships romantic or sexual in nature with parties unaffiliated with the Horde for the purposes of intelligence gathering and kingdom conversion to Horde doctrine. Cadets may find that becoming a party’s ‘boyfriend’, ‘girlfriend’ or ‘datemate’ will provide further avenues for information mining and persuasion, as non-Horde parties consider these roles to be filled by those who are trustworthy, and who care for their safety. Often, becoming a party’s ‘boyfriend’, ‘girlfriend’ or ‘datemate’ will make the party vulnerable, as they become emotionally dependant on the agent for emotional satisfaction, catharsis and joy, to a certain extent. This chapter will cover the necessary emotional, cultural and anatomical knowledge to ensure…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle placed his finger on the word ‘boyfriend’, and frowned. Is that what the word meant? A boyfriend was someone who… gave emotional satisfaction? Someone you trusted? Well, that didn’t really explain much, because that was exactly how he could describe his relationship with Rogelio - he trusted Rogelio, and liked him, and spending time with him gave him a certain amount of joy. But that was team camaraderie, team </span>
  <em>
    <span>loyalty</span>
  </em>
  <span>, something the Horde </span>
  <em>
    <span>encouraged</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He scrutinized the book once more. </span>
  <em>
    <span>There must be something I’m missing...</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle was so engrossed in his reading that he didn’t notice the darkening of the library lights and the sudden chill and hush of the room until it was very nearly too late. Shadow Weaver swept imperiously into the room, all red cloak and curling shadows, and headed towards the front desk, ignoring the small queue of people waiting for the bookkeeper’s attention. Tylluan immediately dropped the book xe was slowly checking out, and turned to stand ramrod straight in front of Shadow Weaver, raising a wing in sharp salute.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shadow Weaver, sir.” xe said. Shadow Weaver eyed xer for a moment, before nodding at xer in greeting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bookkeeper Tylluan.” she replied smoothly. “The new shipment has arrived?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The underlings should have finished unpacking it in the restricted reading room.” Tylluan dropped xer wing. “I will fetch you the key.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Shadow Weaver’s gaze roamed across the library as Tylluan bustled back into xer tiny office to the key cupboard. Most of the inhabitants immediately went back to their reading, or ducked behind bookshelves to hide from her fear-inducing gaze. Kyle raised his book on princesses and the outlying lands above his face, praying that after that morning’s performance she would leave him alone. But no such luck - Kyle had barely read a paragraph before he saw the curling tendrils of shadow crawl underneath the book and up the pages. Stifling a sigh, he put the book back on the desk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sh-Shadow Weaver.” he said, trying to will the quake from his voice. It was always so much </span>
  <em>
    <span>easier </span>
  </em>
  <span>to face Shadow Weaver when Lonnie or Rogelio were there by his side - Kyle was certain that if </span>
  <em>
    <span>they </span>
  </em>
  <span>were in his place right now, they’d be cool as cucumbers…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cadet Kyle,” Shadow Weaver’s voice snapped through his self-flaggation, and he blinked. “What are you studying?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Um,” Kyle said, frantically trying to come up with ways to get out of this conversation as quickly as possible. “The outer lands? I- well I know I didn’t- I didn’t do too well in training today. I thought- well, if I maybe- maybe read more about the outer lands, I could understand where I’m going wrong. Maybe, um, learning strategy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle was god-awful at lying, but Shadow Weaver seemed to be mulling over his words. He glanced down to his book, and with an internal sigh of relief he saw that he had flipped through to the section on familial structures, towards tree graphs and diagrams, and  away from the graphic images of… well, nether regions. After a moment of thought, Shadow Weaver spoke again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It is a good thing,” she said softly. “to limit weakness. Perhaps we will make something of you yet, hmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle gulped. “I- I would hope so, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I am glad one of my cadets is studying hard. Unlike </span>
  <em>
    <span>others….</span>
  </em>
  <span>” She turned, and her eyes swept the room again. “Octavia!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The one-eyed Force Captain straightened up  with a guilty expression, quickly hiding her book behind her - Kyle managed to read </span>
  <em>
    <span>20,000 Girls Under The Sea</span>
  </em>
  <span> on the spine before Shadow Weaver stalked over to chatsize her on her book choice. While everyone’s attention was on Shadow Weaver and Octavia, Kyle carefully slipped his book into his bag and packed his things away. Clearly he was not safe from prying eyes in the library - not even Bookkeeper Tylluan could keep Shadow Weaver at bay. He had to find somewhere quieter to read, and learn about this thing called ‘boyfriends’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio considered himself a master at reading people. Perhaps the others in his squad considered him to be nothing more than muscle, but Rogelio noticed things about people that others didn’t. People tended to forget you were there if you didn’t speak, and since Rogelio preferred not to, he tended to notice things that the people involved didn’t generally want him to know. So when he saw Kyle slip something under his pillow after he came back to the dorm for the evening, his curiosity was piqued. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t raise it during the evening, as they played a tactics game together with Lonnie (who easily won), nor did he mention it as they stood side by side in the bathroom, Kyle cleaning his teeth and Rogelio trimming his claws. Instead, he watched Kyle out of the corner of his eyes as he bid everyone goodnight and crawled into the upper bunk and under his blanket. Rogelio crawled into the lower bunk and curled up in his thick fleece pyjamas and thinner blanket, but he did not sleep. He watched in the darkness, hearing Lonnie’s breaths deepen into snores, hearing the ticking of the clock as it slowly counted the seconds passing in the gloom. After about half an hour, Rogelio’s patience was rewarded - the bunk above him began to glow.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He peered up and around the lip of the bunk, and saw Kyle sat up in bed, blanket over his head. His body was silhouetted by a light he was holding beneath the duvet - a small torch, Rogelio realised - and he seemed to be reading something. Rogelio did not have the best hearing, but the rustling of pages being turned was unmistakable. He thought for a moment on his next course of action, and opted to slither silently out of his bed and up the ladder to Kyle’s bunk. He perched on the edge of the the bed, before gently lifting the blanket and settling beside the smaller boy. Kyle had not noticed him climb the ladder, but definitely noticed the dipping weight of him on the bed, and he jumped in alarm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rogelio-!” he half-shouted, but was immediately muffled by Rogelio putting his hand over his mouth. Rogelio pointed his claw towards Lonnie’s bunk, then pressed a claw to his lips. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Keep quiet.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry Ro,” Kyle murmured, chastened. “You scared me a little. I was too busy reading this book to hear you come up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Satisfied that Kyle was not going to yell again, Rogelio dropped his hand and looked down the book, and read a few lines. It seemed to be about… honeypotting? Trysts? He looked at Kyle, who was looking deeply embarrassed about being caught reading this material. It was not like trysts were unknown to him - he had been propositioned many times, although he hadn’t really enjoyed trysting all that much. But Kyle? Kyle still couldn’t hold a conversation with strangers without stuttering, and now he was thinking of… honeypot missions? It made a little bit of sense - he wasn’t great at fighting, and strategy was beyond him. But Kyle was good at soft skills, at caring and listening. It wouldn’t be difficult to reapply those skills, to a mission in a darkened bedroom, with a target and burning desire, to going further….</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something hot and sour clogged the back of his throat at the thought - Rogelio did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>like that idea.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I overheard one of the older cadets talk about something mentioned here,” Kyle said, to fill the awkward silence. “I thought I’d look it up, research, see if there was something that I could use in training. It’s an interesting read.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio nodded, but he had turned his attention back to the book, his mind far away. He wondered what Kyle found interesting about the book - the intrigue of the missions, the trysting? It just didn’t gel with Rogelio’s internal idea of Kyle, as a naive young man with too big a heart and too little charisma. As he thought, he noticed one of the pages was covered by a sheet of notepaper. He went to lift it, to see what was written on the next page, but found his hand suddenly pinned to the book by Kyle’s frantic fingers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t!” Kyle whispered sharply, his face crimson. “I- there are drawings under there. An- anatomical drawings. Like, you know, drawings of… </span>
  <em>
    <span>parts</span>
  </em>
  <span>. “ As he spoke, he seemed to shrink into himself, ashamed. “I… I don’t like looking at them, so I cover them up while I read.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Rogelio delicately removed his hands and placed them in his lap. Kyle, if anything, looked even more miserable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look-” Kyle said, voice pleading. “Please don’t tell anyone I was reading this, Ro. They might… misunderstand. You know the other’s don’t like me - I don’t want to give them more ammunition to… y’know. To be mean to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Rogelio could not have that - a squad was a squad, and no-one was allowed to be mean to Kyle, no matter what unusual things he was reading. He raised his hands and signed: </span>
  <em>
    <span>My lips are sealed.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle laughed quietly, a relieved smile breaking free. He turned back to his book and began reading again, and Rogelio took that as his cue to leave. He slipped down the ladder, and padded back to his bed. Before bedding down again, he turned back to Kyle and signed:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Don’t spend all night reading. Training tomorrow. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I won’t,” Kyle replied softly. “Goodnight, Rogelio.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Goodnight</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And true to his word, the light of Kyle’s torch went out an hour after Rogelio bid him goodnight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been a few days since Kyle had found the book, and the days after did not get any better. Training was </span>
  <em>
    <span>brutal</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Had someone turned the difficulty up on the bots? Kyle couldn’t remember a time where he had to dive to the floor so many times, and yet the feel of the floor had become intimately familiar to him these past few days. Although, perhaps it was because he had been distracted by his late night reading, and had pondered the book through every waking hour. The concept of a “boyfriend” was… hard to grasp. Some things about it seemed so familiar, and yet other parts… distant. Things he had never considered, things he did not have the context for, they all swirled and danced around his head like dust motes, distracting but too delicate to grab and study properly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Until one day, on a bright Thursday morning, he had a brainwave after morning training. He wasn’t the first man down in the simulation this time - but with his constant ducking and diving, he was certainly the most bruised. Rogelio had all but carried him to the locker room to patch him up, and now that Lonnie couldn’t yell at him for being the first man down, she too looked concerned at his injuries. Kyle hadn’t said much during the treatment, but had insisted to both Lonnie and Rogelio that he would be okay, and he’d walk himself to the dorm so they wouldn’t be late for lunch. And as he walked the short distance from the training room to the dorm, he pondered and thought and tied himself up in anxious circles considering this weird nebulous concept that may or may not be illegal. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to have ten or fifteen minutes with a Princess, so he could ask all his questions about ‘boyfriends’ and ‘romance’-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wait. Kyle paused in his walking. There </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>someone he could ask about this. There </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>a Princess in the Horde.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His body was crying out for a decent hour’s nap, but he passed by the door of the dorm and instead turned down a corridor and headed to Scorpia’s room. Scorpia had her day off today, Kyle remembered - a misfired laser pistol from one of their new droids had caused a wicked burn to one of her claws, and she had been put on medical leave until the chitin grew back. There weren’t many places to go in the Fright Zone when on medical leave, and Kyle’s suspicion paid off when he heard her unmistakable singing as he turned down the right corridor.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“...summertime, and the living is easy…”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle paused before the door. Scorpia was facing away from him, and was fiddling with something on her desk - a small rock, he realised. The song was unfamiliar - he wondered if it was from her time outside the Horde... Not wanting to intrude on what was clearly a personal moment, Kyle backed away, resolving to come back later, but as he stepped back into the corridor, he collided with someone coming the other way. In a clatter of buckets and laser sweepers, Kyle fell to the floor, jarring his already bruised body even further. The singing stopped, and Kyle could hear murmuring, apologetic and pleading, before Scorpia’s voice cut clear through the noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, no missir, it’s okay - Kyle’s just a bit clumsy, see? You’re not in trouble - look, keep going on your rounds. I’ll look after him, you go…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The squeaking of a trolley disappeared down the corridor, and Kyle groaned as he sat up. His entire body ached, and he felt truly embarrassed and miserable. But Scorpia didn’t seem to notice his discomfort, easily plucking him up off the floor and setting him on his feet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kyle! Are you okay?” she asked, dusting him down with her oversized pincers. “You fell pretty hard there! What were you doing behind my door anyway?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m fine.” Kyle rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “I, uh, came here to ask you something, but- but you looked busy, so I thought maybe I should leave, but then-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-but then you got mowed down by the janitorial crew.” Scorpia gave him one last brush down, before stepping back. “But no lasting harm done! So, what did you want to ask me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle looked away, tired and achy and really just wanting to go back to the dorm now. “It- it doesn’t matter, I’ll ask you later-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No! No no no no no, you got mown down on your way to ask me a question, and I am going to answer it! Come in, come into my room, we can talk there.” Without further preamble, Kyle found himself propelled into Scorpia’s bedroom, and seated on the edge of her bed Scorpia’s room was smaller than the dorm, but was equally as homely. The rock Scorpia had been playing with was now sat on her bedside cabinet, alongside a plush scorpion and a few red crystals, in front of a photograph of what Kyle assumed were her parents. On the wall above her bed were more photographs and drawings - not only of Catra, but also of other members of the team - he could see a slightly blurry photo of his squad next to a clearly well-cared for drawing of Lonnie.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So!” Scorpia said brightly, standing in front of him with her pincers on her hip. “What did you want to ask me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle shifted a little, uncomfortable with the attention. “Well, I overheard some older cadets say- I mean, they said some things- I didn’t know what they meant so I looked it up- except now I still don’t know what it means- like there’s a book, in the library- I took it out but I’m so confused and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle could see Scorpia’s brow furrowing as she tried to keep with his rambling. Oh, this was going nowhere. Kyle sighed. “Scorpia, what’s a ‘boyfriend’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Kyle had never seen Scorpia struck dumb, but here she was, her mouth gaping a little like a fish. “I mean- what’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend?</span>
  </em>
  <span> You don’t know what a boyfriend is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No.” Kyle hunched in on himself. “I just- I have a book, I’ve read about it, but we don’t have them here, so I don’t… I don’t understand what it is. I don’t get what ‘boyfriends’ are, or why ‘romance’ is banned, I don’t get why it’s so similar to what I want with-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Whoa, whoa, whoa, one thing at a time, Kyle!” Scorpia settled on the bed next to him, claws placating. “Let’s start small. Breathe. You’re getting overwhelmed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle took a few deep breaths, and tried to slow the skittering of his thoughts. ”Sorry, Scorpia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay.” Scorpia smiled gently. “So… romance. It’s… uh… well, it’s a feeling.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A feeling?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah. Something you feel towards someone. You see this person and you feel… happy. Soothed. Drawn to them. Like you want to </span>
  <em>
    <span>be </span>
  </em>
  <span>together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle frowned. “Like a… tryst?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not… exactly. It’s like - you want to be close to them. You like being with them. You make them laugh, and it fills you with this giddy feeling. You want to… bring them drawings, look after them when they’re sick, or find the last grey ration bar for them. Sometimes you want to tryst, sometimes not. That’s what we call… well, used to call a ‘crush’, back before the Horde. And then, if the other person feels the same way, you become… boyfriends. Or boyfriends and datemates. Or girlfriends.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle chewed his bottom lip, thinking hard. Put like that, it made more sense for Kyle, something still didn’t quite… click. All those things, the feeling of giddiness, joy, caring… well, Kyle had already felt them. For Rogelio. He liked when Rogelio looked after him, he loved to make him sound that weird, guttural laugh at one of his bad jokes. One time, Rogelio had been shedding, and Kyle had ran all the way to the other end of the compound to find the one gel that would help with the itching. But they were teammates, friends. Surely it couldn’t be romance - someone would’ve picked them up for it. Surely </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>would’ve noticed this… crush, was it? - and told him, warned him off it if it were against the rules. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It couldn’t be this ‘romance’, could it?</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Could</span>
  </em>
  <span> it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scorpia was watching him carefully. “Have you… ever felt that way, Kyle?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I…” Kyle’s brain was slowly grinding to a halt, overwhelmed. “I… Rogelio… I think I have a crush on Rogelio.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, Kyle….” There was a beat, and then Kyle found himself bundled up into a warm hug, Scorpia’s pincers firm around his shoulders. Kyle sagged into Scorpia’s bumpy shoulder, tired and achy and quite frankly terrified to have new words for all that he was feeling, and yet knowing that it wasn’t allowed, that this kind of relationship was against the Horde doctrine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scorpia…” Kyle said, voice quaking. “Scorpia, it isn’t allowed. Romance is barred. Scorpia, what do I </span>
  <em>
    <span>do</span>
  </em>
  <span>?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scorpia leaned back, and her expression was tight, upset. Gently, she brushed one of her pincers against Kyle’s cheek, wiping away some wetness, and Kyle realised then that he had started crying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“There’s nothing you </span>
  <em>
    <span>can </span>
  </em>
  <span>do.” Scorpia replied, voice fraught. “Kyle, with feelings like these- with </span>
  <em>
    <span>romance</span>
  </em>
  <span>- we gotta bury it deep. There’s no place for it here. The Horde won’t allow it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why? Why not?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Scorpia glanced over at her bedside table, where the photo of her parents sat. “It’s… unpredictable, Kyle. It’s crazy. The Horde tolerates trysts, but to value one person above your team, above the Horde… That’s dangerous. My… my mothers found that out the hard way. We are all </span>
  <em>
    <span>equal </span>
  </em>
  <span>in the Horde, and if one person comes before it... ”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle sniffed, and pressed a palm to Scorpia’s claw. “You’ve felt it too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He felt Scorpia stiffen beneath him, but then she sighed, and nodded. “I can’t let her come before the Horde. We are all one, in service to Hordak. So… so whatever feelings you have for Rogelio, you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>to bury them. Distance yourself from Rogelio, give yourself some space. I know it’ll hurt, and it’ll be painful, and sometimes you’ll feel like it’s burning you alive, but you </span>
  <em>
    <span>have to keep it hidden</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because it’s forbidden.” Kyle said softly.  “Because it’s a danger to the Horde.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because Rogelio is your friend, and my friend too, and if Hordak even </span>
  <em>
    <span>suspects </span>
  </em>
  <span>you would put Rogelio before your duties as a Horde soldier…” Scorpia’s eyes flickered towards the photo of her parents again. “You don’t want to know what will happen, Kyle.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle sighed quietly, but nodded miserably, his eyes red-rimmed from his crying and still sniffling. Scorpia hugged him close again, before letting him go with a parting pat on the back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You best get back to your dorm, Kyle.” she murmured. “Before you’re missed.”</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle nodded, and rose from the bed. He wiped his face with his hands, brushing away the last remnants of tears as he walked to the door. At the threshold, he paused, and turned back towards Scorpia.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t… tell</span>
  <em>
    <span> him</span>
  </em>
  <span>, will you?” he asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I promise to keep your secret. I’m the </span>
  <em>
    <span>best </span>
  </em>
  <span>at keeping secrets!” Scorpia replied, with a small smile. Kyle nodded, and tried to smile back, but it felt brittle and weak, just like him. He turned, and began the trek back to his dorm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he left the doorway, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Scorpia turn, and raise one claw to touch the drawing of Lonnie pinned above her bed, </span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something was wrong with Kyle.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio had noticed that when he’d returned to the dorm with Lonnie, worn out from a full day of classes. Kyle had spent the evening curled up in his bunk, quiet and clearly upset, and had rejected the offer of going to the canteen for dinner - a first, something that had never happened in the history of Rogelio knowing him. Lonnie had tried cajoling him into going, even yelling at him, but Kyle would not budge, and in the end Rogelio had trailed a steamed Lonnie down to the canteen. Later, as he picked morosely at his dinner, he saw Lonnie sneak a ration bar and some dried fruit into her pockets for Kyle when they returned. But even that didn’t help - the next morning, Kyle slipped out of the door in the early hours, and did not join them for breakfast. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For the next few days, Rogelio barely saw the man. When Kyle joined them for simulations, he was despondent, and didn’t joke or laugh with them afterwards, instead hurrying away to another class, another study session. It was almost like Kyle was </span>
  <em>
    <span>avoiding </span>
  </em>
  <span>them, hiding away in different parts of the complex when they didn’t need to be together, and crawling immediately and silently into his bunk late at night whenever he had to return. Worst of all, he was nowhere to be seen when Lonnie and Rogelio went to the gym for their morning sessions - which he needed to go to since Lonnie wanted to train his combat skills to be a few levels above “abysmal”.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is it with Kyle, Rogelio?” Lonnie asked, as she beat out her frustrations on  nearby punchbag. “Has he told you anything? This isn’t like him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio lowered the weights he’s been lifting, and shrugged. Lonnie didn’t seem to be pleased by his non-response and viciously punched the bag once more, before dropping her fists and coming over to sit on the bench by Rogelio. She sighed, and leaned against him, looking tired. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Any ideas, Ro?” she asked wearily. Rogelio thought for a moment - he knew about the book Kyle had hidden under his pillow, but what did that have to do with anything? But then again, that was the only odd thing to happen in the past few days - sure, Kyle had been knocked around yesterday, but he always got knocked around. He had been distracted by something. Kyle had said not to tell anyone about the book, but Lonnie was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lonnie</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and there were never any secrets between the three of them…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>There was a book</span>
  </em>
  <span>, Rogelio signed. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He was reading it a few days ago. It distracted him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“A book?” Lonnie frowned. “What kind of book?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A book on… trysting</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Honeypots. He was reading it late a few nights ago. He told me not to tell.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie shook her head, scowling. “That’s… not the kind of thing I’d imagine </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle </span>
  </em>
  <span>to be interested in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio shrugged, growling softly in agreement. </span>
  <em>
    <span>He said he was researching. Something another cadet had said to him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh.” Lonnie thought for a moment, before shaking his head. “Kyle shouldn’t get involved in that kind of thing. Trysts aren’t worth it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sounded bitter, angry. Rogelio tipped his head to the side, and mewled a little in concern - it didn’t sound like Lonnie was talking about Kyle anymore…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What are you looking at me like that for?” she asked defensively, as Rogelio peered at her. “It’s true. I know it. If Kyle gets involved in that kind of thing, he’ll only get hurt.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She rose from the bench, and returned to the punching bag, giving it a half-hearted hit. “Forget I said anything. Go look up that book he had, Rogelio - maybe reading it properly will help you figure it out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She began punching the bag with renewed vigour, and Rogelio sighed, before returning to his weights. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio was not one for the library. It wasn’t that he hated reading, but rather he was much more of a jock than a bookworm, and besides Kyle used to bring him interesting books from the library anyway so there was no need for him to ever go inside. He slipped in through the door, and peered around - Kyle was nowhere in sight, so Rogelio relaxed. Good. Rogelio didn’t think it would go down well if he admitted that he was snooping in on his private reading habits. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could not see where the bookkeeper was, and so he ducked into an aisle and began his search. He hadn’t seen the title of the book - all he knew was the contents of one page, and it’s general size and shape. When he had initially planned his strategy, he hadn’t thought it be too difficult, but now surrounded by shelves and shelves of books that looked incredibly unsteady, he began to perhaps regret his initial bravado. He sighed. There was only one thing for it - to check each one and every one.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was no more than ten minutes before he was interrupted. He’d checked about four books in that time, and not one of them had looked like the one Kyle had hidden in his bed. He placed the latest disappointment back on the shelf, and scanned for the next book, but as he traced a claw over the spines of the book, he felt the tingling sensation of someone stepping up behind him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can I help you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio turned. Bookkeeper Tylluan stood behind him, glowering and suspicious. Kyle had always told Rogelio that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tylluan, that xe was kind, but Rogelio quite frankly found xer terrifying. While Shadow Weaver frightened people by using magic to manipulate her shadows, Tylluan frightened people by virtue of being a huge giant owl-person who challenged anyone new who entered xer domain. Rogelio gulped.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I’m looking for a book, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he signed, his claws shaking a little. </span>
  <em>
    <span>A book my friend took out two weeks ago. Cadet Kyle.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tylluan’s eyes narrowed into slits, and if anything xe seemed to get bigger, puffing out xer feathers and fixing him with a scowl. It was all Rogelio could do to not cower in front of xer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The book choices of my clients are strictly confidential,” xe growled. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Especially </span>
  </em>
  <span>those of Cadet Kyle. I know how poorly you other cadets treat him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Beneath his fear, Rogelio felt anger roil in his gut. </span>
  <em>
    <span>My name is Rogelio, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he signed firmly, a small growl in his throat. </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m his friend. I would never hurt him.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio had expected a bit more of a fight, but at his words, Tylluan paused, feathers deflating a little in consideration. “Rogelio…” xe murmured, more to xemself more than anyone else. “The poetry enthusiast? Kyle speaks of you often. He brings you volumes of Skaldic verse on Fridays.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio felt himself flush, and looked away. The fact that he </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>the patriotic anthems and rhymes of the Horde skalds was a fact that he preferred to keep quiet. It would not do for his image for that </span>
  <em>
    <span>particular </span>
  </em>
  <span>fact to be well known.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The book you are looking for is called </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Outer Lands: Culture and Capitulation</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Tylluan suddenly said, catching Rogelio’s attention once more. “It is two rows north, second shelf to the right, next to the encyclopedias on Dryl.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio blinked, blindsided. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Thank you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he remembered to sign, as Tylluan turned away. Xe nodded in response, but before leaving xe gave one parting comment over xer wing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If I hear you have used this knowledge inappropriately…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Xe did not need to finish the threat. Rogelio backed away, furiously nodding his understanding, before turning and hurrying to the correct aisle. It was then only a few minutes before Rogelio found the appropriate book - </span>
  <em>
    <span>The Outer Lands: Culture and Capitulation, </span>
  </em>
  <span>exactly where Tylluan said he would find it. He removed the book from its slot, and with one final furtive look around, Rogelio scurried away to a private table to read.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The first few pages of the book provided no insight to Kyle’s state of mind - it was all geography and history, explaining the intricate political relationships that governed those outside the Horde. That was definitely not it. He flipped through the book to the page that Rogelio had caught him reading. Studiously ignoring the uncovered image - he now understood why Kyle had covered them - Rogelio read through the text, scaly brow furrowed in concentration. He turned the pages, flipping quickly past any anatomical drawings, but as he did so, a loose sheaf of paper slipped loose from the book, floating gently to the floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He bent down, and lifted it up. It was Kyle’s, must’ve been - Rogelio could recognise the loopy, curled handwriting anywhere. It was notes on the book, things Kyle had thought as he was studying. Rogelio preferred to type his notes on his tablet, but Kyle preferred pencil and paper, much to the consternation of most of his trainers who believed he could learn so much more if he just had all of his notes in one piece of tech. Settling back into his chair, Rogelio began to read what was written:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>romance - a feeling? an action? against horde concordat, subsection C</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>symptoms - warmth (fever?), loss of senses, vulnerability, inappropriate trust, joy?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>rituals include flowers, secrets, trysting (sometimes), chocolate (what’s that?!), wine (?????), dancing and ‘balls’ (note to self: locate princess dialect dictionary)</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>terms: boyfriend, girlfriend, datemate - someone who engages in ‘romance’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>important in princess culture - but why in horde???? banned in horde, but still present??? how has princess culture grown in the horde - kingdom capitulation to horde rule introduced it maybe????</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Rogelio x Kyle - could be boyfriends?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He frowned at that last comment, then back at the book. ‘Boyfriends’? The note made no sense - the book talked about becoming a ‘boyfriend’ for intelligence purposes. But there was nothing of any value Kyle could learn if he tried it on Rogelio - it wasn’t like Rogelio was some mysterious, suave lizard spy, and Kyle a young ingenue with an intelligence kink. Rogelio normally told Kyle everything anyway, because they were friends. Best friends. So why was he reading this? Why was there this note? Rogelio rubbed his temple, grumbling a little under his breath. Kyle had said he was looking up something another cadet had told him - but </span>
  <em>
    <span>what </span>
  </em>
  <span>had they told him? What had he overheard that had driven him to this book, to make this comment?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then he remembered the conversation between the other cadets that around the same time Kyle had this book.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“He’s in big trouble - did you hear? Shadow Weaver overheard him calling Nyth his ‘boyfriend’, and you know how strict she is about romantic overtures...”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His eyes went wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Oh.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It had been two weeks of distancing himself from Rogelio, and Kyle was </span>
  <em>
    <span>miserable.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>The fear of being discovered and punished for his crush towards Rogelio still hovered like a sword above his head, but the longer Kyle was away from Rogelio, the more he just wished the sword would just drop and get it over with already. The training sessions with Lonnie and Rogelio were strained and awkward, and his own personal self-study sessions were just plain lonely. Without Rogelio and Lonnie, and with no other friends, Kyle was at the mercy of the other cadets on the days he got caught between hiding places, and often he would hobble back to the dorm, sore and bruised from tripping over unexpected items or being hit with pranks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was on his way back from the library when the next prank hit - someone had sprayed the floor with cooking oil, meaning the moment Kyle set foot on it he was slipping and sliding all the way down. He lasted three minutes before he fell head over heels onto the floor, his ankle twisting with a sickening crunch. The badly muffled snickering coming from the end of the hall indicated to him that his assailants were taking great joy in his misfortune. He shut his eyes, and willed himself not to cry, He’d done too much of that the past few weeks. He was not going to cry again in front of- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span> There was a scuffle, followed by a green flash of light. The snickers turned into howls of pain, and Kyle curled up tightly as his assailants slipped and slid down the corridor and away from his saviour. Kyle did not move - even if he wanted to, the pain in his ankle was too great for him to even thing about moving. He moaned, pitifully, and he heard his saviour’s footsteps carefully pick their way across the corridor towards him. A shadow fell over him, and Kyle cracked one eye open, taking in the cadet uniform, the brown skin, and the instantly recognisable mane of dreadlocks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lonnie?” he asked softly. Lonnie did not smile, but she did not seem angry - rather, worried. “What are you doing here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Training’s over.” she said, nodding towards an open door behind her. Kyle could see the soft glow of a simulation suite. “I was heading back to the dorm, but then I saw you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Thank you.” Kyle ducked his head, looking away. In trying to avoid Rogelio, Kyle had been avoiding Lonnie too - it was near impossible to see her without Rogelio near, and besides Lonnie would not have been one to keep her mouth shut if she saw there was some discord between him and their lizard friend.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Come with me, Kyle.” Lonnie said, sighing. With a grunt, she easily picked Kyle up from the floor, and picked her way back down the corridor and into the changing room beside the simulation suite. The one inhabitant of the room skittered away at Lonnie’s glare, and Kyle found himself plonked unceremoniously on the changing room bench. Lonnie vanished for a few moments, before returning with a first aid kit. Kyle soon found himself on his back, shoes thrown across the room, with his hurt ankle in Lonnie’s lap, carefully being splinted and wrapped with bandages.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So.” she said, as she carefully wrapped his ankle. “Spill.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I… don’t know what you mean?” Kyle tried, but one glare from Lonnie told him that he was still absolutely pants at lying. “I… don’t want to talk about it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really?” Lonnie said, faux-sweetly. “Then let me tell you what I’ve seen. Rogelio told me about that honeypot book you picked up from the library - and don’t be mad at him, we don’t have any secrets between us, remember? So you get that book, and suddenly you want nothing to do with us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lonnie…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you understand how worried we’ve been?! Rogelio’s been </span>
  <em>
    <span>frantic </span>
  </em>
  <span>- we don’t know where you’ve been, or </span>
  <em>
    <span>who </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’ve been with- I don’t know if the Horde have asked you to do these missions, or if you’re doing them for some weird sense of job satisfaction-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle felt himself redden at the implication of the words. “Lonnie-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-but believe me Kyle, it’s really not worth it, trysts really aren’t worth it and neither is whatever you’re doing for these missions, you get attached and get all these feelings, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>know </span>
  </em>
  <span>that they suck and I don’t get </span>
  <em>
    <span>why </span>
  </em>
  <span>you’re doing it-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lonnie-!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“-but you’re going to get yourself hurt like I did-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Lonnie, I am not having </span>
  <em>
    <span>trysts </span>
  </em>
  <span>with anyone!” Kyle finally yelled, and immediately afterwards he covered his face with his hands, face flaming red. “I swear on the Horde I haven’t been doing </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything </span>
  </em>
  <span>like that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then what </span>
  <em>
    <span>have </span>
  </em>
  <span>you been doing?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- ack.” Kyle shook his head. “Not </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>at least. I had that book out for a totally different reason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was looking something up, okay!” Kyle sat up on the bench, feeling extraordinarily tired. The bandages around his ankle had been abandoned, and Kyle pulled them closer so he could finish the job. “I overheard some cadets talking about some Princess term on the way home from training, and I didn’t know what it meant, so I looked it up. Except I was still confused, so I went to Scorpia, because she’s a Princess, and she told me, and then I realised that I had a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush </span>
  </em>
  <span>on Rogelio</span>
  <em>
    <span>, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>bad </span>
  </em>
  <span>because the Concordat bans romantic relationships and that sort of </span>
  <em>
    <span>attachment</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>panicked-</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah woah </span>
  <em>
    <span>woah, </span>
  </em>
  <span>hold up.” Lonnie raised her hands defensively. “What’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>crush</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle blinked at her. It made sense for </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle </span>
  </em>
  <span>not to know things because he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle </span>
  </em>
  <span>and he rarely knew anything of consequence, but how did Lonnie not know…?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well… it’s like an… attraction to someone.” he said, slowly. “Like, you want to make them happy, You want to be around them all the time, and you miss them when they’re away. You want to bring them gifts, like drawings or ration bars, or cool shiny things you picked up. Sometimes you, uh… sometimes you </span>
  <em>
    <span>tryst</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but sometimes you don’t want to…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie looked as if she’s just been struck by a train. “There’s a </span>
  <em>
    <span>word </span>
  </em>
  <span>for that?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, </span>
  <em>
    <span>yeah.</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Kyle fidgeted. “Scorpia told me. And then, when everyone involved has that same feeling, it’s like… you’re boyfriends. Or girlfriends. Or like, datemates.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>what?</span>
  </em>
  <span>”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Like in a romantic relationship - that’s what they call it in the Outer Lands.” Ankle now appropriately bandaged, Kyle drew himself close into a small ball. “I felt that way about Rogelio, and I was scared that someone would find out, and they’d punish me for it, so Scorpia told me to hide it, and I </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried </span>
  </em>
  <span>but…. but it’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>miserable, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Lonnie. I hate it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie was quiet for a long while. “I know how you feel.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You do? You’ve… </span>
  <em>
    <span>felt </span>
  </em>
  <span>that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” She shifted. “I… I maybe had a tryst with Scorpia. And afterwards… afterwards I couldn’t get her out of my </span>
  <em>
    <span>head. </span>
  </em>
  <span>All I could think about was </span>
  <em>
    <span>her, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and it made me so mad because we are all Horde, and what made her so special?! Even today - she was overseeing the simulation, and I tried so </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard, </span>
  </em>
  <span>because I wanted her to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>impressed</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but it was like… it was like she was looking straight through me. Like nothing happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think she’s hiding too, Lonnie.” Kyle scooted a little closer, and tentatively wrapped one arm around her. “Like I was. Except she’s had years of practice, hiding her Princess past to fit in here. She’s hurting too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie sniffed, and rested her head on Kyle’s shoulder. They were quiet for several minutes, drained and tired, drawing what little comfort they could from each other. The beeping of the cleaning robots outside, the bustle of Horde activity, were distant sounds to them. For however tough Lonnie was, and however determined Kyle was, they were still squadmates, and therefore family. What hurt one hurt them all, and Kyle could not stem the tide of guilt and sadness that he didn’t notice that his family were struggling too. After a long moment, Lonnie straightened up, rubbing her face. Kyle gave her some privacy, and instead gazed up at the patterns of Horde architecture on the wall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So what now?” Lonnie asked quietly, voice thick. “We can’t go on like this. I feel like I’m burning up alive.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, Lonnie.” Kyle replied, hanging his head. “I’ve missed Rogelio, but I’m </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared - </span>
  </em>
  <span>scared of slipping up and getting us both in trouble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Me too.” Lonnie paused, then sighed. “I think you need to talk to Rogelio. If you choose to break the rules or not, you should decide it together.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess.” Kyle looked down at his hands, then back at Lonnie, smiling slyly. “I’ll speak to Rogelio if you speak to Scorpia.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That earned him an eyeroll. “What are we, two years old again? Get a hold of yourself, Kyle!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie tried to push him off the bench, and would have succeeded if Kyle had not put weight on his bad ankle. At his yelp, Lonnie immediately pulled him back, looking chastened and guilty, but Kyle was smiling at her, like they did in lighter times, when the weight of the Horde Concordat was not weighing down on them both.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have to go.” Kyle said, and stood to slip on his boots. “Do you know where Rogelio is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“On the rooftop, above the boathouse armory.” Lonnie replied. “He’s been spending a lot of time by the water lately.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The sea comforts him.” Kyle zipped up his boot, and stood tall. “Wish me luck?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Lonnie gave him a once over, before giving him a small but reassuring smile. “Good luck, brother.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And with that, Kyle turned and limped out of the changing room, towards the boathouse.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>BREAK</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio had always found the sea soothing. He did not know if his species were from the sea or the coast, but whenever he was restless, his feet would trace the familiar route to the top of the boathouse, where the whirs of the boat-building machinery was muffled, and the sea loud in it’s crashing. He liked to sea new ships released into the harbour, and the older, broken ones shipped into the wethouses for repair and stripping. He liked to watch the other Horde members bustling around down there, hauling loads, tossing nets, keeping the harbour at its optimal busy level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed. He’d been spending a lot more time up here recently. Ever since finding Kyle’s note in that book… well, he couldn’t get it out of his head. He had the mind to hide the note - it would not do for someone </span>
  <em>
    <span>else </span>
  </em>
  <span>to find it - but since then he had not been able to stop thinking of soft curls and those warm, gentle hands. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>thinking </span>
  </em>
  <span>about Kyle being his boyfriend (and that was a word he was fast becoming fond of) made Rogelio feel like he was breaking some sort of big taboo. And the Horde Concordat just made things more complicated. It had scared him the first time he realised he’d break every rule in the Concordat for Kyle, but since that first time he’d become more and more preoccupied about if </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kyle </span>
  </em>
  <span>would break the rules with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He guessed he now realised exactly why this was written in the Concordat in the first place.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The door behind him squeaked open, but Rogelio didn’t turn. Anyone coming up here knew him by look anyway, and they would soon turn around and leave, satisfied it was not a skiving cadet trying to avoid class-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Rogelio?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Now that voice did make him turn. Kyle was stood behind him in the soft evening light, looking nervous and a little scared. “Rogelio, I… I came to talk to you, if that’s okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The human boy stepped forward, and Rogelio’s gaze was drawn instantly to his ankle, where he was clearly limping on it. His mothering instinct kicked , and he quickly moved a few crates so that Kyle could sit down.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Who did that to you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rogelio signed frantically. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Does it hurt?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just a prank, Ro.” Kyle replied, easing himself down onto a crate. “Lonnie patched me up a bit earlier.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio nodded, not fully at ease but mollified at least. He sat down on the floor of the roof next to Kyle, and for a few moments they both watched the harbour, listening to the distant sounds of foghorns, boats and the waves against the cliffs. Then, Kyle spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ro, I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lizardman turned to him, frowning, but Kyle was looking out to the sea. “I’m sorry for being a bad friend these past few weeks. I… found some things about myself two weeks ago, and I panicked. And I treated you awfully for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio was quiet for a few moments, pondering, before he pulled out a sheet of notepaper from his pocket - Kyle’s note. He unfolded it, and spread it out on Kyle’s knee, and pointed to the bottom line, before signing:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>To do with this?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle flushed a deep red as he recognised the note. “You found that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You left it in your book.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“I guess I’m lucky you found it, not Shadow Weaver.” Kyle paused, and took a deep breath before letting it out in a loud whoosh. “I heard the term from another cadet, and I didn’t know what it was. So I looked it up, and found… </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>book.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But the book confused me, because it kept describing things I already felt - things I felt when I was with you, Ro. It wasn't until Scorpia explained it that the penny dropped, and I realised exactly what I was experiencing, and then…" Kyle drew into himself a little. "And I realised what I wanted. Who I wanted. I wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>you, </span>
  </em>
  <span>not in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>tryst </span>
  </em>
  <span>way but in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>boyfriend </span>
  </em>
  <span>way. And I knew it was against the rules, and I panicked because I was terrified someone would find out and I'd be in trouble </span>
  <em>
    <span>again, </span>
  </em>
  <span>and you'd hate me forever-"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio was not certain exactly when or how he decided on his next course of action, but it felt as natural as breathing. He rose to his knees, took one look at Kyle's nervous, babbling face, before cupping his cheeks and leaning in. The young man's lips were warm and soft, chapped from excessive lip-biting, but perfect to Rogelio in this moment. Kyle shut up the moment Rogelio's lips met his, and he all but melted into the scaled hands, eyes fluttering shut, and sighing when he pulled away.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ro…" he said softly, blinking away dazed eyes. "Did you just… was that a </span>
  <em>
    <span>kiss?"<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio growled, amused, before leaning in again, and this time Kyle reached out for him too, and their bodies melded together into a crushing embrace, and soon Rogelio found himself on top of Kyle, half on top of the crate, pinning him to the wood. He nuzzled his snout in and around Kyle's neck and shoulder, perfectly content to simply touch and taste all he could get away with.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ro… </span>
  <em>
    <span>Ro.</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Kyle's voice was breathless. "Ro, we </span>
  <em>
    <span>can't</span>
  </em>
  <span>."<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Rogelio did not say anything, but he did stop his nuzzling of Kyle's neck. Kyle's hands were stroking his sides and back, distracting but still pleasant.<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ro, I… you know I want more than a tryst with you. But what </span>
  <em>
    <span>I </span>
  </em>
  <span>want… it's against the rules, you know that."<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>We'll keep it secret. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rogelio leant back so he could sign. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No-one has to know.<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"But what if we get caught?" Kyle asked, fear starting to seep into his voice. "Ro, I couldn't bear it if I got you in trouble over something like this- the punishment for this is… well, it's </span>
  <em>
    <span>awful. </span>
  </em>
  <span>I couldn't ask you to do anything like this-"<br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kyle sat up on the crate, and it broke Rogelio's heart to see him looking so upset. Gently, he lay one of his dark green hands on Kyle's thigh, and signed with his other hand:</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I make this choice. No-one will know. Only you and me. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Rogelio paused, then added. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And Lonnie.<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>"I figured telling Lonnie would be a given." Kyle snorted wetly. "But Ro, are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>sure?!"<br/>
</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>His face was such a painful mix of trepidation and hope that even if Rogelio wasn't utterly resolved to this course of action, he would've been on sight of Kyle's expression. He growled his assent, and leaned in again, and against his lips he felt Kyle giddy smile light up the entire rooftop. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
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